That one time I took my phone to the bathroom and everything was different

Read this when you’re feeling lost

I know this sounds crazy, but I need you to close your eyes and imagine you are not the main character of your life. Your life is a book and you are not even the author. You are the reader.

I didn’t quite think that first part through so hopefully you opened your eyes again are still here.

To tell you the truth I have been lost in my own life more times than I care to publicly admit. During one of these seasons of wandering, I hired a business coach. A witchy woman who worked with tech CEO’s while also syncing up her coaching sessions with the moon. The self-help section of Barnes and Noble had failed me and so there I was; shivering in the dark and praying for direction.

We had just burned the last of the incense and were wrapping up a session when she turns to me and said, “Dakota, you’re looking for rules when the truth is: There are none.” But when you’re lost, the last thing you want to hear is that nobody has a map. Couldn’t Oprah just tell me? I had listened to enough TED Talks to last a lifetime. What the heck did I have to do now?

It was while sitting on the toilet and scrolling that I found a concept that would change my life. Normally when I needed help, strangers on the internet would tell me some version of, “Imagine your life was a book and you were the main character.” Sounds promising but, it still left me with the original problem of what the heck do? Its cute having “main character energy” but what is that main character supposed to be doing? It doesn’t help that building a meaningful life is a moving target, more of a practice than a one-and-done scheme.

The concept isn’t mine (I don’t even know where I originally heard it) but I want you to close your eyes and pretend it is. And while your eyes are closed, I want you to also pretend that your life is a book. Is it a romance? An adventure story? Sci-fi? Or maybe you’re like a lot of us who look around and suspect this is how the horror story begins… In whatever case, I want you to imagine that you are the reader and are VERY invested in the outcome of this book. You’re staring down at the page, imagining the protagonist (you) in their struggle, and this next part is very important; what are you rooting for that character to do? How do you wish they would act in order to move the story forward?

Do they need to quit their job? Or perhaps take a risky one on the other side of the world? Do they need to finally share the contents of their heart? Mend a relationship? Or perhaps have the courage to start a new one? Are they holding onto a season past its time? What call to adventure do you wish they would answer?

In my case, it was to finish writing my book.

For you it may be something else entirely.

For me, doing the “smart” thing, or the “safe” thing, or the thing I thought would earn the most money or praise always got in the way. Especially when I just imagined myself as the main character or the author of my life story. I didn’t want my life to be a tragedy. But main characters can’t always see their full range of options. And authors often answer to a whole host of calculated steps in order to advance their story. But using this exercise, and by imagining myself as the “reader” of my story, I had permission to step out, have no bias and let hope be my guide.

It was like watching a movie where I just wanted to slap the protagonist and yell, “Run to her you fool! You know you love her and her flight leaves in an hour!” Suddenly I knew where I was headed. All that I needed to do was take action.

I can’t say that since then, my life has been a breeze, or that I never got lost again. But I also don’t think we become great at finding ourselves without a little practice. If you’re lost, join the club, and after you’ve received your membership card and commemorative tote, I hope you find the courage to do the thing the reader is rooting for.

“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice”

— Cherokee proverb

With love from the gutter,

Dakota

PS

My business coach was actually one of the coolest humans I ever got to work with. After a near death experience she turned her whole existence around to focus on helping people and planet. Hit me up if you want a supportive, witchy, butt-kicking.

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This post is the start of a new series I am writing about how to live a meaningful life. After working as a professional touring dancer, acting in movies (if you haven’t seen The Idea of You on Amazon check it out), publishing a book and traveling the world as a serial creative, I can safely say my life has been anything but orthodox. I have always followed what has felt most meaningful in my life and I hope to inspire you to do the same. My main publication will remain free but I will be sharing all kinds of tools that helped me on my journey for my paid subscribers. If you are feeling stuck, stagnant, like your life has lost some of its luster, or just are unsure of where to go next, I am writing to/for you. I hope you’ll join me.

If there are topics you want to hear more about, send me a message. I can’t wait to hear from you!